I was sitting on my couch the other day watching the Red Sox play the Yankees, when it suddenly occurred to me, if there are such things as cheap showers, why doesn’t Giambi use one? One time I was at the Red Sox game at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts, sitting one row behind the visitor’s dugout, which for this particular game, happened to be occupied by the New York Yankees. I was in awe, I mean I’m a huge baseball fan, and here I was, watching my beloved Red Sox, play our infamous rival, the Yankees from merely a few feet away. There was nothing between me and the Bronx Bombers other than the large letters placed atop their dugout, "VISITORS." While most of the game I was nearly speechless, the few words I was able to mutter were, "Can’t Giambi afford a cheap shower?" I mean, how can one person be so greasy?
I truly think it affected his playing ability, because he went 0-3 and struck out twice. I attribute his poor performance to the fact that his hands were so greasy from running through his hair that he was having a hard time swinging the bat. He couldn’t get a good grip. I’m not complaining, he’s a force to be reckoned with, and I was happy his hands were slipping, because it meant we had a better chance at beating the Yankees.
It’s pretty well known that showers don’t have to cost a fortune, and for someone who makes as much money as he does, you’d think, he’d check out unlimitedshowers.com and find a cheap shower. After we beat the Yankees, I thought I’d offer him some advice, and I merely suggested, "Hey Giambi, take a shower." I don’t think he appreciated my suggestion, because he gave me a look that if it could have talked, would have at the very least, said "Shut your mouth." Thankfully, his death stare couldn’t talk.
Cheap showers work just as well as other showers, as long as you’re getting them from a reputable place. So, after I made my first million, I donated a cheap shower that I knew was a quality product, from unlimitedshowers.com to Jason Giambi, and had them install it in his locker room at Yankee Stadium. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t use it, but hey, I tried.
